Is it possible to have one of the sweetest weeks of your life AND one of the most emotionally exhausting at the same time? Yes, yes it is.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t value growth so dang much so I would stop recognizing all my junk that no longer serves me and have to then do the work to let it go. Ever feel tired of the transformation process? I sure do. I know it’s what I want deep down but holy shiz sometimes I just want to take a vacation from personal development and just sit and watch some stupid drama show on TV and eat ice cream, lots of it. But I keep going, and I keep growing. It’s not possible for me to stay stagnant, my soul just won’t allow it.

This week I got to make some priceless memories with some of my dearest friends (that are now family) who came into town. Also, I witnessed the MOST beautiful and sweet devotion of two of our closest friends as they sealed the deal and got hitched. ??

My heart is full and grateful. I feel more than ever the {realness} of my life and what I have co-created. And It. Is. Fabulous.

During this same incredible week, I experienced some pretty insane, crazy heart pains.

I allowed myself to fully feel some seriously sad stuff that I’ve hidden from my heart for 20 years and this week I finally let the emotion out. I also couldn’t get my shit together and have just one conversation with my husband that didn’t end in a fight. And then what felt out of NOWHERE, today a title wave of grief hit me. I miss my mom and dad and the break down bawling sesh I had made me realize just how much.

This is life. It is full.

Full of love. Full of pain. Full of belly laughs. Full of ugly cries. Full of deep connections. Full of dark loneliness. But it IS FULL.

It’s time we allow ourselves to be both. Fully. The pain and the joy.

To feel it all.

And sometimes it’s at the same time. When we allow ourselves to feel the full pain, we then get to feel the fullness of JOY.

When we do this we invite God to come IN. It’s like we are saying, I TRUST YOU. We let go of the control and we lean into Him more fully. Because He has never nor will ever abandon or betray us, it’s actually the opposite. He is the one carrying us through, He is our biggest cheerleader and believes in us when we can’t, HE IS ALL THE LOVE IN OUR LIVES.

This is the sweetest devotion, His love for us. I have been mad at Him many times in my life, and He loves me through it, knowing I will find the truth.

The truth.

We got this. We opted in when we said yes to this life. Life happens for us not to us. There is always room for growth. We are enough as we are right this very second. Our soul knows best and when we surrender and choose to trust, we experience the sweet release. The more we remember who we are, the more limitless we become.

Wherever you are right now in your life, you are in the perfect place, exactly where you were meant to be and what you were meant to be learning.

This is what I am choosing to believe tonight. I am choosing to focus on the mountain of love in my life. The miracles. The kisses. The playfulness. The ocean breeze. God’s sweet devotion. My own heartbeat.

What we focus on grows, so I pray tonight each one of you focuses on the FEELING of His grace and His sweet devotion to YOU.